It all starts with a ritual called the Ceremony of Eternal Bonding, a special rite of passage for two people who want to pledge a lifetime of devotion to each other in the massively multiplayer online role-playing game Final Fantasy 14.
Players will head to the Shrine of the 12, where they will be allowed to host a wedding service that will be available to any in-game friends they wish to invite. From beautiful flower arrangements to special ceremonial chocobos: these in-game weddings often result in a party. So much so that players sometimes try to replicate them in real life - eternal bond and all.
Final Fantasy marriages for 14 players are not as uncommon as they may seem, and in fact have been going on for years. But it's rare for two players who get married in the game to get married in real life. One player named Andrea plans to do just that. She met her fiancé in real life in Final Fantasy 14, married him in the game and is now planning to get married in real life next year.
“He ended up helping me get some weekly clears and I remember us constantly pestering each other about our performance and lecturing each other,” Andrea recalls. “It got to the point where we did everything together.” Eventually, they started making stupid excuses to keep playing together long after everyone else had opted out.
Six months later, Andrea told him she would be in town for E3 2017. They arranged to meet in advance, and when they booked their plans for LA, they decided to get married in Final Fantasy 14 – something all their friends had already done. to cheered. for.
After a while, the in-game wedding – or Ceremony of Eternal Bonding – started to lead to some exploratory conversations. Andrea says it started to feel like they were officially dating. “It's weird to feel so connected to someone without having met them yet, but there's a connection that comes from talking to someone on Discord for hours every night for months on end, which doesn't happen with casual dating,” she says. “We didn't have the opportunity to have coffee or meet for a quick lunch, so we did all these activities together, spending a lot more time together than speed dating.”
Andrea remembers times when the pair would talk until two in the morning, half asleep, waiting for another dungeon to appear so they could complete it together. Even after talking for eight hours straight, they were sitting somewhere in the city of Ishgard, taking cute screenshots together and hanging out with each other as if it were real life.
Then marriage came into the picture. “The ceremony made me feel strangely emotional, like I was a total doofus, because it felt like a way for me to let everyone know that it was something I was proud of and happy about,” Andrea adds. “It was a way to share with friends who we thought we were dating at the time.”
Andrea says it felt a little awkward telling friends they wanted to try it after meeting in person just once. “But it felt good,” she explains. “When we finally met, it was like seeing someone I'd known for years. We hit it off immediately. Our meeting at E3 2017 changed my entire life, and I'm so glad I overcame my initial fear of jumping into this .I've gone from feeling ashamed or silly to thinking it's super cool."
Ultimately, Andrea and her partner decided to reconcile their marriage in the game. Andrea packed her things and booked a one-way ticket from Mississippi to California. “It shocked my parents, but they love and support him now,” she says. A year later, the couple got engaged at Disneyland. They plan to get married in 2021, and Andrea already has some ideas for incorporating Final Fantasy 14 into their real-life wedding, including inviting in-game friends, ordering His & Her cakes, and playing songs from the game's soundtrack.
Andrea isn't the only one finding true love in the virtual fantasy of Final Fantasy 14. Another player who goes by the Reddit handle legend Dairybard is actually married to someone she married in the game. “As time went on, we started hanging out and playing the game more and more, and eventually I gave him my phone number,” she explains.
“He was very kind, funny and supportive,” she says. "He asked me if I wanted to do the Ceremony of Eternal Bonding. I told him sure it looked fun. Plus, the rewards are very useful."
Legenddairybird remembers joking with friends who had never played the game about the whole situation. "I'm getting married on Saturday, you have to come," she told them. “Needless to say, no one showed up.”
Six months later, the legend dairybird flew across the country to meet her husband in the game. “I had that feeling the first time I met him, and it became even stronger when we were allowed to hug for the first time,” she recalls. “I remember he was shaking really bad, I thought he was going to pass out.” They spent Christmas together that year and met again on Valentine's Day, when the subject of real marriage came up.
Legenddairybird remembers her family's excitement when she flew home and told them, although they noted that they initially reacted differently when she suggested meeting him.
“At first people looked at me like I was crazy,” she says. "It's funny to look back on, but in retrospect I understand why they felt that way. I know there's a stigma about meeting people you've talked to online, especially people who make up personas. We don't know that always completely.” When people are who they say they are on the internet.' But after legenddairybird's family and friends realized that her love from Final Fantasy 14 genuinely cared for her, they calmed down and the couple got married – this time for real – in October 2019.
"At first we thought: big wedding, both families, everyone there! We're having a Final Fantasy wedding with Moogles and Chocobo decorations everywhere and we're going out to Prelude!" says legendmilkbird. Instead, they took a different approach.
“We kept it a secret from everyone for months,” she says. "The day was approaching and we had to sell a story so no one would suspect anything. We told his parents we were going to a music festival in town and he needed days off." They got married in a private ceremony with only a pastor present and had a cake that was half vanilla, half chocolate. “Our highlight was the A Realm Reborn meteor with bard and white magic soul crystals,” she says. "While it wasn't exactly a Final Fantasy themed wedding, I made little badges for us to wear during the ceremony since I was a bard and he was a white mage."
“After the wedding we told his parents we were going to show them pictures of the festival we were going to,” Dairybird jokes playfully. "It was a picture of us with a sign that said Just Married with a paopu fruit [from Kingdom Hearts] behind it, and their first reaction was, 'Wait, where's the festival you were going to?' "
After announcing their marriage, her husband's father asked, "...just like in the game, right?" However, Legenddairybird quickly confirmed that this was the real deal. “His parents were both crying and telling us how happy they were,” she says. “They were angry at first because there wasn't really a music festival,” she jokes.
However, this phenomenon is two-sided. Some couples have rekindled their real-life relationships in Final Fantasy 14 – or even recreated previous video game marriages in-game. A Reddit user who goes by "LollipopTechno" tells me that when Final Fantasy 14 2.0 launched, she rebuilt her 2009 guild from Ragnarok Online with her real-life in-game boyfriend. Interestingly enough, this was the very guild they had come across. “I was looking at the market area in a city, where I was shopping, and I received a private message from someone asking if I had a certain hat that had recently been released in the game,” she explains. 'I didn't do that. But I offered to help him scour the market to find someone with it.”
They found the hat, he thanked her and they went their separate ways. But they kept in touch and eventually became friends. A few months later, LollipopTechno made a nine-hour trip to California where they spent their first few days together. “He calls it a trial,” she says. "We had really bad food poisoning for a few days, thanks to a pizza we picked up just after he picked me up from the train station, so we both looked our absolute worst on the first day. We did our best to avoid to take care of each other." others, and after I finally recovered, I was like, yeah… I like this guy.” Two years later they lived together.
Despite having been married before - in Ragnarok Online - conversations arose about the Ceremony of Eternal Bonding in Final Fantasy 14. "We redid the wedding to get our actual anniversary dates on our rings, which makes them more special," says LollipopTechno . They plan to get married in real life someday, but are in no rush at the moment. According to LollipopTechno, weddings are complicated and they prefer to keep it simple.
When we think of married couples renewing their vows, we often think of vacation destinations like a castle, hotel or even a ranch. But couples will find Final Fantasy 14's exotic locations an equally beautiful destination. Redditor sUnit_Alpha tells me that after his wife fostered her own interest in Final Fantasy 14, the couple recreated their marriage in the virtual world.
“It seemed like our real wedding was small too, just close family and friends,” says Alpha. "In Final Fantasy 14 we didn't have anyone present because we didn't know anyone else playing, so we kept it just her and me and focused on our love for each other. We always glam up our wedding rings on our left hands with every outfit to show our commitment to show."
It's great to see stories like this where people meet their future partners in Final Fantasy 14 or strengthen an existing bond by spending time together in the game. And the game's developers have noticed. Final Fantasy 14 creative director Naoki Yoshida is well aware that his game and other MMOs that came before it can bring people together from all over the world.
"While playing Ultima Online, I attended a wedding ceremony for two friends who met in the game," Yoshida told Eurogamer.
"In Japan alone, I have received messages from more than 80 couples who met in the game, got married and sent many congratulations." Final Fantasy fans in Japan can now get officially licensed Ceremony of Eternal Bonding weddings. You even get a prop gun for the reception.
"There's no real difference between people who connect when they meet through other hobbies like surfing or snowboarding and then get married, and those who meet and connect in online games," Yoshida continues. "However, I often think that the unique thing about meeting in online games is that because you cannot see the other person's real face or appearance, you are not influenced by unnecessary information and can understand their inner values and intentions more directly, which makes it is easier to create a mutual personal bond. Anyway, I'm always happy when two people who met in the world I created meet in this way."
It is an important detail to think about, especially in these difficult times. With most social gatherings considered illegal for the foreseeable future, virtual gatherings are more important than ever. For some, this is an increase in wine parties on Zoom. For others, it means traversing boundless fantasy worlds together, exploring bottomless wells of magic and mystery while overcoming divine adversaries, against the will of fate. And if you feel like it afterwards – or along the way! - it means getting married.
Speaking of Final Fantasy 14's Ceremony of Eternal Bonding, Yoshida says it's a way for people to come together and cut ties with each other "regardless of race or gender."
“I'm extremely happy to see it being used in this way and can only wish these two players the best of luck in the future!” he says. "I love it!"
"I don't think there is anything special in it, but the Ceremony of Eternal Bonding deviates from real world value systems, religious and educational perspectives and was created with the idea that I wanted to understand the intentions of the two people involved in the ceremony to be freer and more focused on them,” Yoshida continues. “The fact that it has been accepted by many different people from all over the world makes me very happy as a game designer and I am very proud of that.”
Andrea is also proud of the “how we met” story of her relationship. “I spent the longest time admitting to friends how I met him and even lied to some about our history,” she says.
“If you're talking to someone online, you need to be sure,” she adds. “But for us, we realized that not meeting physically for six months wasn't that big of a deal, that wasn't the problem we initially thought. Until then, we talked for hours every night because Final Fantasy 14 was one of our daily rituals. You learn about someone's likes, dislikes, happy memories, trauma, childhood, career, everything when you spend time together like this, we've covered it all.
“It was such an incredible rollercoaster ride and for a girl living in the middle of nowhere in Mississippi, it's not often I meet someone I'm compatible with. I'm so lucky I found him. Best thing that ever happened because I also happened to be waiting for me in my favorite game. I hope other people can find the courage to take the leap and not be ashamed of it."
