Farmers say the strangest things (2024)

A conversation with a colleague started like this: “The neighbor shouts something to call his cows out of the field. I can't remember what it is.' Me: 'Is it coboss?' Her: 'IT IS!' Her eyes widened, amazed that I could instantly pull this knowledge out of thin air. 'What does that mean?mean?” Then my musings began about things farmers say that only other farmers understand. Coboss is a shortened version of come boss. Some cows are definitely bossy, but that's not where the term bossy cow comes from. Bos is the Latin word for cow. For generations, “Coboss!” and other species have successfully called cattle home from fields around the world. Cows are creatures of habit. If a sound is associated with something they like, such as fresh food or being milked, they will respond to it.

Image above: “Did you call?” A photo I took on my family's dairy farm.

Last year, a gentleman named Art, who worked on my brother's farm, was admitted to the hospital for comfort care. A few of us went to say goodbye and told him how much we appreciated him. After we left his bed, we gathered in the waiting area for a while. I asked my cousin Ben, "Who's going to raise cows now?" Ben replied, “I think I will.” I asked if he was any good at settling cattle (slang for getting pregnant). Ben said, "I think I can figure it out." Then I looked around the waiting room and was relieved that no one else was around. I laughed with my farm family as I remarked, "I'm glad no one else was within earshot of that conversation." Artificial insemination (or AI) plays an integral role on a dairy farm and Art had a good track record when it comes to getting cows to the right place.

“I bought ten straws from Rebel,” Farmer Joe said to Farmer Tom over breakfast at the local restaurant. Translation: I bought ten units of frozen sem*n from the popular bull named Rebel. sem*n used for artificial intelligence is sold in straw-like units and stored frozen in a tank of liquid nitrogen until use.

“I got a quarter of the back 10 acres.” When it comes to hay crops, farmers ideally get at least three harvests or “cuttings” per year. growing season. Four cuttings is great. Five cuttings sometimes happen if the farmer has very good soil and Mother Nature is pleasant.

If you ask a dairy farmer, "How many liters of milk can a cow produce per day?" there is no immediate answer. The eyes roll back a bit as the farmer quickly makes a calculation in his head. It is not unusual for a cow to produce 125 pounds of milk at the peak of her lactation. Like all mammals, cows produce more milk at certain times after giving birth. Most dairy farmers know that a gallon of milk weighs 8.6 pounds. Calculation completed. “14.5 liters!” Gallons are just a unit of measurement used in grocery stores. On the farm, we want to know how many pounds a cow gives because we get paid for every 100 pounds of milk we ship, also called a hundredweight or c-weight.

“What is a silo?” Silos are used to ferment moist plant material, a bit like making brine. This makes the plant material stable and does not spoil. Many people immediately think of stone or steel tower style silos. Silos can also be bunkers or bags. Bunkers are large, flat masonry structures, built primarily with concrete. Bags are exactly what they sound like; these are the long white bags that you sometimes see when you pass farms. There's also the giant marshmallow ball. Here, round bales with a high moisture content are wrapped in plastic to act as a "mini silo". Regardless of the type of silo, they serve the same purpose.

Farmers say many more interesting things. Maybe one day I'll talk about polled cows and teach you that a bobcat is not an appliance. The particularly fascinating thing about agriculture is that each type of agriculture has its own language! I always enjoy talking to farmers from different areas of food production because there is so much to learn! I feel honored to have been given some secrets of the peasant language, and I am happy to share them with you.