Forever is not always forever.
Best Friends Forever (BFFs): They are the friend you trust, the one you share your darkest secrets with, and the person who is never too old for a sleepover. You've probably shared a heart necklace – a necklace divided in half to show that even the thought of divorce was heartbreak. Worn as a badge of honor, that necklace, like your best friend, was one of the highlights of your childhood.
“It's time to stop beating ourselves up over the best friends lost over the years.”
We spend our childhood making best friends, but as an adult, is it really sustainable and realistic to hang out with the same people we played Polly Pockets with when we were seven? While that is the case for some lucky people, it is not the case for the rest of us. And it's time to stop beating ourselves up over the best friendships lost over the years.
There's a lot of shame around itfriendship fall apart, but it is impossible to assume that everyone will stay together at all stages of life. More often than not, we grow apart from our childhood or even high school BFFs. But just because old friendships don't last doesn't mean they're any less valuable. It just means that new, exciting friendships lie ahead.
Pop culture has also played a big role in convincing people to stay friends for much longer than might be healthy. TV often emphasizes that you have one true best friend: from Jessica Day and Cece Parekh in "New Girl" to JD and Turk in "Scrubs." While these friendships exemplify the rewarding and positive aspects of BFF relationships, let's be honest: sometimes these friendships don't work out. How long is forever anyway? In this age of instant gratification, having a best friend or confidant (even for a short period of time) is something to be praised.
“If you feel like you're stuck in a friendship just because you have a shared past, that doesn't mean you have to endure a shared future.”
We've all been guilty of trying to make something bad work. It can be hard to tell if someone is going through a difficult time where they need extra support, or if the friendship is over. While it takes constant time and effort to maintain a BFF, just because you have a shared past doesn't mean you have to feel stuck in a friendship that you have to endure in a shared future.
Sometimes taking a step back from the intensity of being best friends can bring clarity to the relationship. There are some best friendships I've had where I started to feel bad about myself after hanging out with them. Even though they proclaimed our BFF status, they no longer treated me like one. If you are not approaching each other with love and kindness, it may be time to reevaluate the friendship. You can still cherish the memories you had together without feeling guilty about making new ones. Forever is not always forever. Best friends can be fondly remembered forever, even after you've both moved on.
If you feel like it's time to leave a friendship, there are ways to release your former BFF with love. Learn more aboutlet go of old friendships here.
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Sarah Spoljaric is a Californian girl through and through. She has a BA in World History from one of the 10 greenest campuses in the world; University of California, Merced and is content curator for the visual travel app Trepic. She has a background in museum conservation, enjoys reading travel reports from women and is on the hunt for the perfect IPA. She is passionate about exploring this beautiful world that ethically produced goods help protect. Say hello nextInstagram!
