Say I love you too early: 7 signs that you have to wait (2024)

Written bySarah Schewitz, Psyd|Edited byJennifer Mueller, JD

Last updated: February 15, 2024Facts checked

Getting out and telling your significant others that you love them for the first time can be nerve -racking.Early a negative impact can have your relationship, but if you know for sure how you are doing, go for it!Just look for the signs that time is inside when we cover below, and sign that it is too early and how to deal with things if your partner is not yet ready to take that step.

This article is based on an interview with our recognized clinical psychologist, Sarah Schewitz.View the full interview here.

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1. 1

   They may not say that back.It is possible that you just move two at a different pace.Although they love you and enjoy your company, they are not yet to say these words.^[1]

   • What to do if this happens:Don't withdraw what you said if you really feel it!Listen activelyAnd show your love through your care and concern.
   • Try to stay calm in this situation - to be angry or disturbed, the case does not help.Get a few deep breathBefore you talk to your partner about what you said.^[2]
2. 2

   They can put pressure on to say it back, even if they don't feel it.Reading the body language of your important person can tell you if they really mean what they say or not.Be aware of their immediate action when you say it - are they immediately scared or confused?Step.If they say it before they are ready, they may feel guilty about it.^[3]

   • What to do if this happens:Tell them that you just spend your feelings and that is fine if they are not ready to go there.no rush."

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3. 3

   You may be scared.Your significant others may be more careful than you, or they can be afraid of dedication.“Makes that they want to put the brakes on your relationship.^[4]

   • What to do if this happens:Be prepared to take a step back and give them the time to think through things.
4. 4

   It may not be that special next time you say it.The first time you say that "I love you" appears to be a fairly important milestone in a relationship.Or when your significant others first says it), it may not have the same feeling.

   • What to do if this happens:Just recognize it and try to continue with the relationship.You have many special moments together in the future - it's great that you don't have a sweet story about this.

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1. Say "I love you" if it feels good - usually after 3+ months.In the first month or so from your relationship, which you probably feel that love is not love.^[5]

   • This average is a pretty good indication of how long you have to wait before you say: "I love you."
   • At the same time, if you really feel it, you have to say it.
   • Different people also develop an emotional bond with someone faster than others, making it difficult to determine exactly when it is good to say "I love you" and when I have to give it a little more time.

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1. 1

   You have not yet started discussing the future together.If you do not include significant others in one of their plans, they may not see that you are two for a long time.

   • If you want, you could call something and see how they react in the future.
   • For example, you can say: "Hello, I have seen that the midnight here will have a show here in a few months. Are they not one of your favorite bands? We have to get cards and go together."
2. 2

   You have no similar values ​​and goals.You may have many differences, but sharing basic values ​​is the basis for a healthy relationship.^[6]If you have no similar values ​​and goals in life, it is probably not a good idea to tell you significant others that you love them.

   • If you share two ultimate goals and values, you will find it much easier to make a compromise if you do not agree with something.
3. 3

   You don't know each other so well.Although "love at first sight" is definitely a feeling that people experience, it is notRealLove.te Developing Real Love takes Intimpy and an Ogding for relationships.You can't really love someone until you know them well, which takes a little more time.^[7]

   • This does not mean that your feelings are not real.
4. 4

   You have no deep, meaningful conversations.Depth is really important in a relationship.your significant other attached to it.^[8]

   • If you want to get to know your partner, you can try to knowTo ask them open questionsTo get their ideas and views on different deep topics.
   • To ask them questions about their youth and their lives before you met, there is another way to open them so that you can get to know them better.
5. 5

   You don't know how they treat others.How they treat other people can tell you a lot about their character and how they will eventually treat you.They keep their good friends and family around, it is probably too early to tell them that you love them.^[9]

   • Because how they treat others a lot reveals about their character, you can't really know if you love them or not until you've seen them around people they consider in the neighborhood.
   • This does not mean that you cannot fall in love with someone who had a worrying or difficult childhood and have a tense relationship with their families.
6. 6

   You are not ready to be vulnerable.Vulnerability is the birthplace of intimacy, so if you are not ready to be vulnerable, it is a good sign that it is too early to say, "I love you."I'm not sure how they will respond.

   • If you are not good to be vulnerable with your partner or you are afraid that they will hurt you, it is probably better for you to say that "I love you" at least in a month or two.
7. 7

   You are not looking for the same things in a relationship.If you are a significant other looking for something that can be more relaxed "I love you", they will scare them off.It is probably too early to express the depth of the feeling.^[10]

   • Talk to your partner about what they are looking for before you dive in your head and say, "I love you."This will help you better understand if you are two on the same page.
   • For example, you can say: "I have thought a lot about the future and I think I want to establish with a special person in the end. What are you looking for?"
8. 8

   You have already had serious arguments or disagreements.In a healthy, loving relationship you can communicate well and be nice to each other, even if you don't agree.^[11]

   • This does not mean that if you love someone, you always have to agree with him - no two people will keep an eye on everything.Understand their position.

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1. 1

   You have reached a certain level of understanding and dedication.If you are both completely concerned with the relationship and really to give each other, this is a good time to take it to the next level andConfess your feelings.If you know that your important others are really worried, you can trust that they will treat you with kindness, even if they are not yet ready to say the words.^[12]

   • Once you are on this point, you can often be pretty sure that you will say other half "I love you" when you say it for the first time.
   • If you question here, it is a good idea to first talk to your significant others about it.
2. 2

   See Also

   How fast is to suggest: timelines and considerations

   You discuss the future a lot together.When you include each other in your future plans, you indicate that you are expected to be two together.Time to tell you significant others that you love them.

   • The further in the future you speak, the better!
3. 3

   You both use "we" if we talk about you like a few.If you both talk about you as a few that use 'we', show that you consider yourself dependent on yourself, which means that you influence each other's thoughts and emotions.^[13]

   • This also means that you know each other well enough to be able to intuition things that you will like two and do together.
4. 4

   You met their friends and family.When you have a healthy relationship with a strong bond, then the friends and family.Going out with their friends or alone without you.^[14]

   • If you have an independent life, except for your significant others while you are stillspends a lot of quality timeWith them it is a sign that you have a strong and healthy band.
5. 5

   You have already shown vulnerability. To be vulnerableis the basis of an intimate, loving relationship.Time for you to tell them that you love them.

   • Saying "I love you" can be an incredibly vulnerable moment.But if you have already been vulnerable with your significant other, you know that they will treat you in a friendly way, even if they are not ready to say it back.
6. 6

   You are both looking for a serious, dedicated relationship.It is a great sign if you know that you and your significant others are on the same page as the type of relationship you are looking for.Until the long -term relationship and not just a throw.^[15]

   • Once you have known your love for your partner, you may have crossed the threshold of a more serious emotional tape.
7. 7

   You have seen the shortcomings of your important someone else.You know that nobody is perfect, but if you have seen and still love them the shortcomings of your significant someone else, it's time to tell them how you feel.^[16]

   • If you think you have significant other no shortcomings, you are still in the honeymoon phase in your relationship.

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1. Use a more indirect expression of your feelings to relieve the pressure.Romantic love grows at a different pace for everyone.If you feel that your partner is not yet ready for "I love you", you can use other sentences that communicate how you feel without using the emotional words.There are some ideas:^[17]

   • "You are so important to me."
   • "You make me happy."
   • "I appreciate you."
   • "I think it's great if you ..." complete this with something they do that you love.
   • "You mean a lot to me."
   • "I love you ..." completes this with something to them that you love.

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