Full of fear
To prevent future strokes, I want to have a small hole in my heart closed.
It's not open heart surgery; they go through a vein in my leg. But there are still risks and on Monday I was (again) afraid that the procedure would go horribly wrong.
I know there is no need to be afraid because God is in control and whatever He wants to happen will bring me more joy in His glory forever (2 Corinthians 4:17).
But for this promise to take away the fear, I must desire the glory of God more than a smooth procedure, more than earthly life, more than anything.
But unfortunately on Monday I had a little longing for the glory of God. That's why I felt fear.
Numb heart
I had gone to the stream near our house to pray.I had been fighting the fear by praying about 2 Corinthians 4:17 – that whatever happens will bring me more joy in the glory of God forever.
But even as I prayed fervently, the fear remained. So I tried praying a few other verses about fear, like Isaiah 41:10 and Psalm 56:3-4. But no change.
And then, as I said, I saw the problem. What sets us free from fear is (1) knowing that God will only allow trials that bring us more of His glory, and (2) loving and desiring His glory more than anything else.
But I didn't want his honor more than anything else. I had a little desire for the glory of God. My heart was numb.
What must we do?
It was sobering to see the state of my heart. But God reminded me of scriptures that gave me hope that God could change my heart. Writings like -
“I dwell with him who is contrite and humble, to revive the spirit of the humble, and to revive the heart of the penitent.” (Isaiah 57:15)
In -
“The law of the Lord is perfect, it gives life to the soul.” (Psalm 19:7)
In -
So faith comes by hearing and hearing by the word of Christ. (Romans 10:17)
To the Word
So in a new way I turned to God through Jesus Christ. I trusted him to forgive me, to change me, to help me.
I confessed my unbelief and hardness of heart and asked Him to use His word to revive my soul and strengthen my faith.
Then I began to pray through the following memory verses in my packet and other scriptures that God brought to mind. If I remember correctly, these are the texts I found useful:
Jeremiah 24:7 —
I will give them an heart to know me, for I am the LORD. (New US Standard Version)
It strengthened my faith that God has the power to change my heart so that I desire Him more than anything.
Daniel 7:14 —
And [the Son of Man - Jesus] was given dominion and glory and a kingdom, so that all peoples and nations and tongues should serve him; His dominion is an everlasting dominion that will not pass away, and His kingdom will not be destroyed.
It has helped me see the glory of Christ, the savior of men and women of all nations, tongues, and tribes, who will be adored by the redeemed forever and ever.
2 Corinthians 9:8 —
And God is able to give you all grace in abundance, so that you may always abound in all things and in every good work.
It helped me see that no matter what happens, God will give me all the grace I need to be faithful to Him, rejoice in Him, and glorify Him.
What happened
As I prayed these and other scriptures, I felt my heart change.
I don't want to overdo it. I have had times when I felt the glory of Christ more intensely.
But God changed my heart. I saw and loved the glory of Christ. I trusted him. Worship him.
I knew He loved me and that no matter what He would do, He would give me all the grace I needed to experience all the joy in Him He promised.
As a result, the fear was gone and replaced by peace and strength within him.
not content
God is a deeply loving, utterly wise, and all-powerful heart specialist. So don't settle for an insensitive heart.
Bring your heart to Him through the Word and prayer. He will bring you back to life.
He promises.
Comments? Feedback?
I would really like to hear them. Write an answer below -So.
If you know someone this could help with, please email them using the Share button below. Or use the other buttons to share it on your favorite social media.
If you would like to communicate with others who want to live by faith in Christ, please visit our forum page.
If you would like to receive an email on Saturdays with a summary of this week's posts, go to the top right corner of this page, enter your email address and click the 'Send' button. (I will only use your email address for communications about Living By Faith Blog and you can easily unsubscribe at any time.)
And here are some related posts you might find helpful:
- How can I turn to God when there is sin in my heart??
- Once again God changed my heart
- No matter how burdened you are, God can change your heart
- Should I wait for God to change me??
(Image is from everystockphoto.com by Felix Francis.)
