The most difficult years of marriage (2024)

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The most difficult years of marriage? ›

After settling down, restlessness and breakaways are common.

According to the census bureau, the average length of first marriages for divorcing couples is 8.2 years, reflecting the infamous "seven-year-itch." But why seven instead of, say, 11 or 15? Good question.

After settling down, restlessness and breakaways are common.

According to the census bureau, the average length of first marriages for divorcing couples is 8.2 years, reflecting the infamous "seven-year-itch." But why seven instead of, say, 11 or 15? Good question.

Of course, by the seven-year mark, partners are well past the honeymoon phase — and issues may have begun to arise. “With added time, marital struggles can include issues like poor communication and listening skills, a lack of empathy and partners having unrealistic expectations of one another,” Dr. Borland explains.

Things like buying a house, having children, or even getting a new car all become points of tension in a relationship. Eventually, this can lead to resentment from one spouse or the other and can make them feel as if the struggle is no longer worth it.

Late 20s to Early 30s: Many studies suggest that individuals who marry in their late 20s to early 30s may have a higher likelihood of marital success.

Still, there are common years when many couples face greater difficulty, because of unresolved conflict, exhaustion, diminished affection and intimacy, and unmet expectations. Some of these years include years 1, 5,7, and 10.

Here's how the 777 Rule works: every seven days you go on a date, every seven weeks you go away for the night and every seven months the two of you head off on a romantic holiday. It might sound a tad prescriptive, and an à deux holiday almost twice a year could be one too many, but nevertheless we get the point.

Both thoughts of infidelity and rates of cheating rise around the seventh year of marriage. A peak in divorces closely follows the peak in infidelity. While infidelity dips after the seventh year, it stays low for women but later rises again for men.

The seven-year itch is a popular belief, sometimes quoted as having psychological backing, that happiness in a marriage or long-term romantic relationship declines after around seven years.

What are the bad years of marriage? ›

While they rarely offer the same results, it is commonly revealed that there are two periods of time during a marriage where divorces occur with the greatest frequency- during the first two years of marriage and during the fifth through eighth years of marriage.

According to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention , data from 2011-2015 suggests that about 22% of first marriages end within the first five years due to divorce, separation, or death.

The hardest year of marriage happens around your 10th anniversary. I was not surprised to learn that in a study conducted by Brigham Young University, 2000 women surveyed over the course of 35 years, say their highest level of marital dissatisfaction occurs around the 10th year of marriage.

When the “three-year itch” occurs, it may be because couples lose passion and begin to focus on personality differences, different outlooks and goals, and incompatible lifestyle quirks. They may feel they're not a match or that the conflicts are unsurpassable.

Beginning at about six months, bad habits, differences of opinion, challenges of time or money, or just plain boredom raise the first doubts about "happily ever after." For those who prepared for it, communication skills, priority on positive times together, and shared learning to meet challenges blend realism and ...

“The ideal age to get married, with the least likelihood of divorce in the first five years, is 28 to 32,” says Carrie Krawiec, a marriage and family therapist at Birmingham Maple Clinic in Troy, Michigan. “Called the 'Goldilocks theory,' the idea is that people at this age are not too old and not too young.”

According to a study in the Journal of Population Economics, marital satisfaction decreases more significantly in couples with a larger age difference compared to those with similar ages. 1 More specifically, couples with a zero to three-year age gap showed greater satisfaction than those with a four- to six-year gap.